Provisions

Exodus 16 & 17

It's amazing how the journey of the Israelites through the desert is resonating with me so much right now!  I wouldn't say that I am in the midst of a true desert or wilderness time right now, but I am definitely on a journey with ups and downs, needing to trust and follow God's plan and do my part in what He is doing.

Yesterday, I once again marveled at the provisions of the Lord and the specificity in how He provided.  The Israelites needed food and God promised to provide enough each day, with the special instructions to not take more than what was need for one day (except the day before the Sabbath).  Of course some Israelites decided they could take extra in a day, but woke up the next day to find maggots in their food.  In chapter 17, God also provided the water that they needed, and they didn't even ask nicely!

These last couple of years God has really been The Great Provider for our family.  My husband transitioned out of a 12 year ministry job with a regular paycheck, to doing ministry in which raising support was needed.  Over and over again, God has provided exactly what we have needed through a number of different means.  It has been a faith building journey for my husband and I, and for our kids.  I would be lying if I said there were never bumps in the road, and there are times when I wish I had a bit more (like the Israelites), but then I am reminded of the things in this life that really matter and of ALL of the things I have been blessed with and have been able to do.

Well, yesterday I was a little discouraged.  I am a Thirty-One consultant and am really desiring this to be a primary source of income for me.  Of course, in any direct sales job, there are going to be ups and downs.  I had my best ever month in June (another way of God meeting some needs this summer), went to our amazing conference in Denver, and was geared up to keep building momentum as I came home.  Some things in the last couple of weeks have not really gone as I have planned, and I could feel some doubts and discouragement start creeping in.  Of course, God came through for me yesterday, not in a huge way, but in making a small shift, telling me that He is here, He is taking care, and He is continuing to provide.

Just like the manna from heaven, He is giving me exactly what I need for each day.  Believe you me, I look forward to a land flowing with milk and honey!!! I am working towards that.  But as I have been talking with my daughter lately, I need to be content with todays provisions.  I need to be faithful in working towards the goals He has set before me.  I need to remember all that He has done and the promises he has given.  Maybe my promised land is here on earth, maybe it is in Heaven, but regardless I will rejoice in God's faithfulness and provisions and open my heart to the things He wants to teach me on the journey.

Follow His Lead

This morning I picked back up reading through the Bible.  Honestly, I have struggled lately in being consistent with spending time in the Word and I can tell.  Life sure is more of a struggle when I try and do it on my own.  Being the independent person I am who often is not as scheduled and disciplined as I should, I have let the most important part of my day slip.  In turn, I end up being more short-tempered with my children (I like to believe some of it has to do with my crazy puppy too!) and others and frankly, there is just not as much joy in my heart.

These are things I have known for as long as I can remember, but I still struggle with being consistent.  I am not content with where I am at and the only way that will change is if I take action and follow through in applying the knowledge I have.  I am praying that putting my thoughts down (I have never been good at journaling) will help as I process through and honestly face my roadblocks.

I am going through Exodus and I picked up where I left off a while ago.  The chapter I read today was chapter 13.  The last section of the chapter is what really stuck out to me.

Verses 17-18 "When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, through that was shorter.  For God said, "If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt. So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea."

Verses 21-22 By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people."

Sometimes the path God leads us on is the not the one that makes the most sense in our finite minds.  It may be longer, we may face challenges, we are probably going to have times we doubt and complain, we may look at the path others are on and be jealous of them (oh that comparison game!), but what contentment when we trust and follow!

Personally my struggles most recently have been the trap of comparison, procrastination, and focusing on my own shortcomings.  God has been working on my heart in these areas and I loved the message from church yesterday that I need to value the voice of God and his thoughts about me more than those of others or really my own mental battles.  When I try and address the things on my own, I FAIL!  Then I get so frustrated with myself and where I am at.  My priority right now is to trust the path God has me on, keep my eyes on Him (the cloud/fire He is leading me with),  and let the things He says about me propel my actions and how I order my days.

Thank you Lord for you faithful leading and for never giving up on me!