This morning I picked back up reading through the Bible. Honestly, I have struggled lately in being consistent with spending time in the Word and I can tell. Life sure is more of a struggle when I try and do it on my own. Being the independent person I am who often is not as scheduled and disciplined as I should, I have let the most important part of my day slip. In turn, I end up being more short-tempered with my children (I like to believe some of it has to do with my crazy puppy too!) and others and frankly, there is just not as much joy in my heart.
These are things I have known for as long as I can remember, but I still struggle with being consistent. I am not content with where I am at and the only way that will change is if I take action and follow through in applying the knowledge I have. I am praying that putting my thoughts down (I have never been good at journaling) will help as I process through and honestly face my roadblocks.
I am going through Exodus and I picked up where I left off a while ago. The chapter I read today was chapter 13. The last section of the chapter is what really stuck out to me.
Verses 17-18 "When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, through that was shorter. For God said, "If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt. So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea."
Verses 21-22 By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people."
Sometimes the path God leads us on is the not the one that makes the most sense in our finite minds. It may be longer, we may face challenges, we are probably going to have times we doubt and complain, we may look at the path others are on and be jealous of them (oh that comparison game!), but what contentment when we trust and follow!
Personally my struggles most recently have been the trap of comparison, procrastination, and focusing on my own shortcomings. God has been working on my heart in these areas and I loved the message from church yesterday that I need to value the voice of God and his thoughts about me more than those of others or really my own mental battles. When I try and address the things on my own, I FAIL! Then I get so frustrated with myself and where I am at. My priority right now is to trust the path God has me on, keep my eyes on Him (the cloud/fire He is leading me with), and let the things He says about me propel my actions and how I order my days.
Thank you Lord for you faithful leading and for never giving up on me!
